A Bad Case of the Mondays

A Bad Case of the Mondays

Workout Date:



Hamburglar (CoQIC), Quaker (YHC)


Humpback (the Camel); BeefSteak (AOQ); ERC; Texas Ranger; Leprechaun (F3Columbia); Mr. Crabs (FNG); Hamburglar (CoQIC); Quaker (CoQIC)

The Thang:


AO: BombSquad


Conditions: 54 degrees, calm

Hamburglar, BeefSteak & YHC got a text at 2:26am from Sunshine – his allergies were off the chart and he would not be able to lead this morning. Some thought it was a “bad case of the Mondays” but YHC can personally attest to the severity (It was so bad that yesterday evening he was looking for some questionable hygiene products to ‘plug’ his nose.)  Luckily there was no further back and forth mumble chatter at this hour, as I mentally committed to take the Q & fell back asleep.

Later this morning as I geared up for the Gloom, Hamburglar chimed in and said he would take the Q, too. I was not on the Q sheet at BombSquad at all this month, so we agreed to CoQ the beatdown.

Rumor had it that there would be an FNG in attendance and who better to lead and FNG friendly beatdown then 2 knuckleheads that are recovering from a 50-mile ruck?

When YHC arrived, Beefsteak, Hamburglar, & our FNG were congregating near the Shovel Flag. Introduction were made as more PAX came streaming in. By the 1 minute warning we had 7 Pax in attendance and by the end of SSHs, Humpback joined the COP to give us 8 total for today’s festivities.

5:14 – 1 Minute Warning

5:15 – Proper Disclaimer

COP: 15 SSH IC; 15 Imperial Walkers IC; 10 Merkins IC; 5 Core Principals recited by the PAX (Leprechaun almost missed #5 – Circle of Trust)[I guess he didn’t think he would be called on because he was on Spring Break!!] #PossibleSleeperCell; 10 Windmills IC; 10 TTT IC; Pax recited what each “F” in “F3” means (No, ERC the 1st “F” does not stand for “Fun”, although we had plenty of fun this morning!); 15 LBAC IC; 15 LBAC in reverse IC; YHC then eyeballed Humpback, Texas Ranger, & Leprechaun to see who could step up and recite the F3 Mission Statement. YHC saw Texas Ranger give me a subtle head nod like “Oh Yeah, I got this.”, So he was singled out to the relief of the other 2 Pax. Texas Ranger then informed us that ‘The Look’ he gave was misinterpreted, it really meant, “No, not me. . .anyone but me.” With that clarification he began to slowly & meticulously enunciating every word of the Mission Statement with purpose building to a crescendo with applause from the fellow Pax – “well done. . .Bravo!!”

Mosey to the Large Parking Lot. As we mosey’d YHC picked up the MultiDeck of Madness (120 cards from many decks of cards which always seem to have more Face Cards and Jokers everytime we use it!).


MultiDeck of Death

Clubs = Merkins

Spades = Squats

Diamonds = Diamond Merkins

Hearts = SSH

To keep it FNG Friendly and to make sure the deck was not stacked against us, YHC asked our FNG to split the deck in half. This way our chances of seeing only Face Cards & Jokers would be lessened, right??

Each Pax took a turn to draw a card and lead an exercise . . . To our surprise the deck was filled with Clubs & Diamonds!!  There was only one Spade and 2 Hearts drawn!

After 2 rounds we mosey’d across the Large Parking Lot and back as an intermission before the Q handoff.

After returning to the start, Hamburglar took over the Q & announced that we would continue with the MultiDeck of Death but this time each Diamond card would be Pax Choice & after each round we would round the perimeter of the Large Parking Lot. There were plenty of Diamonds & Clubs flipped in this round, too! The Pax took this opportunity to call mostly ab exercises. Our downrange brother blew his cover when he led the Pax for 10 ‘Russian Twists’ #EnemyOperative (We were already suspicious when he struggled with the 5th Core Principle during the COP).

After our mosey around the lot, the fun really began as Jokers sprung from the deck one right after another ( 5 in a row!) Because we didn’t designate what to do with the Jokers, Hamburglar made us run around the entire church for the 1st one. The next 2 we did 5 Burpees, then 10 Burpees. The next Joker 15 Boxcutters, and then we did 20 Monkey Humpers for the last one. #CrowdPleaser. If this series of exercises doesn’t bring an FNG back to the Gloom, nothing will!!

With 5 minutes remaining, we collected the cards & mosey’d back to the Shovel Flag for 2 minutes of stretching before the COT.

6:00 – Time Called

Count-0-Rama = 8


Naming of the FNG –  he’s from Maine, been living in MB for about 1.5 years, he was recruited by Hamburglar’s M, he’s an electrician. YHC asked what the main Export of Maine is (profiling to make sure he also was not a spy), however, before he could answer, a fellow pax (probably Humpback) shouted out Lobsters. There was a reference to the muscle-bound lobster in SpongeBob, everyone agreed it’s name was Mr Crabs (its not . . . its Larry) and thus another great F3 name was given that makes sense only to the Pax that were present.

Hamburglar led us in prayer.

MoleSkin: We warned Mr. Crabs that other Pax who will see him at the grocery store or about town will call him  Mr. Crabs. He said he was good with the name . . . however, it may be a tough one to explain to his M. (I recall ‘Wax Off’ having a difficult name to explain so we helped him out &  changed it to “Sticky Bumps” – you’re welcome!)

All in all we had a great day in the Gloom & it was a perfect way to recover from the weekend or even a Bad Case of the Mondays.




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