One Pissed off Turtle- Timeshare Anniversary 5/5/2018

One Pissed off Turtle- Timeshare Anniversary 5/5/2018

Workout Date:





Bonsai (Fort Mill), Viagra, Cubbie, Onecall, Flop, Peach, Skimmer, Flyover, Geno, Billboard, Flop, Goldberg, Barbie, Crankbait, Sunshine, War Eagle, Turn and Cough, Rousey

The Thang:

Diva’d again.   Once again the the main AO parking lot at Timeshare ended up being shut down for the launch/anniversary for the storage of 1000lbs of bananas and 30 #elvis stations for Sunday’s upcoming Diva 1/2 marathon.  Fortunately, the area is littered with beach parking options so we moved it down the road 100 yrds to the  Ocean Drive access point at the beach.

Viagra pulled up early to make sense of some reports that there would be a music festival camped out in our alternate AO this morning.  Timeshare wouldn’t exsist without Viagra, Cubbie, Burgundy, and Barbie’s constant dedication. #accountability  These #HIM are here every time they can and put up with YHC’s often nonsensical Q’s.  They crazy thing is for a AO manned by a bunch of drama-free men, we are always stumbling on a bunch of crazy up here.  Onecall will attest to that after his Q turned into a drunkfest.

Great to have Bonsai DR from #TheFort.  He was itching to Guest-Q. #cobains we couldn’t accommodate this weekend as Guest-Qs have been a great lifeline throughout the summer at Timeshare.  Next time you are DR at the Beach, the Q is all you.   BTW if you are looking for Bonsai in a crowd, look for the PAX most unlike Mr.Maigi.

Peach and Goldberg were the lewis and clark of the Conway PAX and ventured to find that the intercoastal bridges were no longer frozen over and were now passable.  Either that or were the only 2 inland PAX that figured out how to remove their ankle monitors, violate their parole, and make it to the beach.  Good to see that the Horry county boys learned how to color coordinate their accessorizing, buffs and all.

YHC noticed that Skimmer showed back up even after our blind date involved a dinner of beef jerky & getting lost in the woods of the Francis Marion Forest for 12 hours.  Guess we had a spark.

Flyover still has an emotional attachment to YHC’s medical kit after the adventure race.  It appears he travels with it everywhere yet can’t seem to part with it. 

Great to see Crankbait find his way up to Timeshare although it is really only 400yrds further from his house than YHC’s.

War Eagle, most likely unaware of what was about to go down sauntered by with a slight glazed look.  For a relatively new PAX, he kept it up the whole time and pretended not to be concerned after mumblechatter started getting scary later on.  [More on that later.]

Even as disclaimer was given Geno started begging to go to the beach which would turn out to be not such a good idea as the beatdown ensued. There were unsubstantiated reports that Geno was performing proper squats. #fakenews


Mosey to the beach and plant SFs.


  • SSH 25X IC
  • TTT 15X IC
  • LBAC 10X fwd/ 10X rev IC
  • slow-mo squats 20X IC

The Thang Pt.1

Burpee Ladder in the sand.

  • 1 Burpee, Bearcrawl 25yrds in the soft sand, backpeddle to dunes #crowdpleaser
  • Rinse and Repeat with 2 burpees, 3,4,5.
  • At 6  switch to normal run the 60yds all the way to the waterline and back
  • Rinse and repeat with 7,8,9,10 Burpees

[Seemed fairly tame on the weinke but the soft sand bearcrawls were brutal and by 5 everyone was feeling it.  This took a lot of time and forced YHC to scrub the plans on the parking deck for time.]

Flutter Kicks 20x IC.

Mosey to the Park.

#cobains to Rousey for dragging the crew across town with his bum knee.  Rousey never gives up and continues to impress YHC with his silent fortitude.

On the way stopped at normal AO parking lot to do #22Merkins to honor the struggle our veterans face.  At the wall on Hillside and Main we stopped again for a stupid yet painful round of wall touches.  Basically face a wall jump and try to touch as high as you can.  25X, 20X, 15X, 10X, 5X.  Hold people’s chair in-between.

Turning the corner off of Hillside Ave, the #mumblechatter had digressed into something about a PAX wanting a souvenir from the beach.  YHC saw the perfect opportunity to obtain said souvenir as a 12″ long turtle was holding plank in the middle of the road.  In-stride, YHC picked up the turtle which instantaneously began to spray urine everywhere.  Now they don’t teach this in biology class, but a 95% of the weight of a hydrated turtle is urine which they can spray at a distance any 10yr old boy would be proud of.  Fortunately, YHC’s reaction time was sufficient to avoid being soaked with turtle piss #GreatFNGname.  Mr. Turtle was quickly returned to his natural habitat of wandering the streets of NMB soon after the flow stopped.

PAX circled up at the “Yoga Mat” playground for rounds of the following:

  1. Wooly Worms
  2. Dips
  3. Rows using low parallel bars
  4. People’s Chair with Air Presses
  5. Derkins
  6.  LBC’s

Everyone picked 2-3 other PAX for a group date and cycled from station to station for 45 sec AMRAP with 15 sec transitions.

Somehow Sunshine must have gotten one whiff of turtle piss that sent the swirling snakes into overdrive and started talking about x-rays of medical probe insertions that seemed to straddle the thin boundary between medical necessity and radiological erotica.  That further deviated into a game of bizzaro brinkmanship that had Turn&Cough chantinging “Everybody in the office is turning and coughing and coughing and turning.”   YHC is not sure on the mandatory reporting laws for MDs in SC but there is a good chance that Crankbait may still be filling paperwork related to this incident for the next several months. In the end everyone had one round of LBC’s that was replaced with lying there and laughing. #Mumblechatter

The workout was quickly disintegrating into a AMRAP jaw flapping session so YHC called it after 2 cycles.

Febreeze  – 2:10 ratio of LBC’s and OH press while holding 6.  Unfortunately YHC could only get through 3 rounds before gravity won out.  #IfyoucantdoitdontQit

Mosey to Water fountain.

YHC wanted to share 2 exercises that seem so benign yet are suprisingly effective.

  • Flop squats (Named for Flop who brought it yet had no name for them) Heels flat on wall in plank. Then dip knees to ground. 21x IC
  • Ripstick squats (In peoples chair.  Go to tip toes and back down 4ct IC.) 10X IC , drop down more and 10X IC.

Mosey back to Normal AO (aka Diva banana storage)

  • Pretzel Crunch 10X IC + Pretzel Stick Crunch 5X IC
  • Rinse and Repeat other side.

Mosey back to shovel flags on the beach.


It had been so long since YHC had to Q at Timeshare where I couldn’t remember everyone’s name from COT that the phone was left in the car.




  • F3Grandstrand anniversary June 2nd
  • Barney’s Fathers Funeral Sunday in Conway
  • AO Challenge almost over


Ephesians 6  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Don’t give up on showing up. The issues we face spiritually are often related to feeling bad about yourself.  Remember in these times that we are in a battle. A battle mindset is cruical because is spurs us to fight rather than feel sorry for ourselves.

3rd F

6PAX headed to Sam’s Places / DD for coffeeteria.    If you have never heard Flop’s refereeing stories of dealing with the craziness of competitive soccer, you are missing out.  Some of the ways he deals with the constant parent/player/coach BS are brilliant.

FYI, if you ever try to rip Billboard off, I learned that unless the Holy Spirit shows up to stop him, we may be taking up a collection for bail money.  


It has been quite a year.  There has been so much that went down and this past summer will be interesting with the influx of DR guys and whatever leftovers are wondering the streets of NMB in the gloom.

I can’t believe Onecall is still sane after trying to keep the region from imploding for the last 3 years.  I think he goes home and tells the M: “Why can’t I just find a bunch of normal guys who want to workout?”  Timeshare has certainly added more crazy to the sauce rather than help the issue.  Thanks for pushing us to get better brother!

Cubbie has been solid all year long.  However, the anti-fartsack gene must skip generations as Crayola and McTwist seem to have been plagued with bouts of bedroom paralysis for the last 6-9 months.

Viagra has been a rock and help hold the ragtag gang at Timeshare together.  I do think he has secretly been writing a book about all the instances he’s been cropdusted during bootcamp by YHC.

Burgundy keeps showing despite the fact that his automobiles seem to have been surpassed by the Ford Pinto in terms of overall reliability.

Barbie may need a renaming after his F3 name was leaked to the youth group.  Somehow it’s hard to EH any of the 300+ men he comes into contact with weekly at the church when all they are questioning, “Am I gonna be named My Little Pony?”  I’m guessing the rumor has proceeded the facts about F3 here.

It has been a great year of being able to post more than twice a month and having an AO YHC can attend. Always a pleasure to lead and can’t wait to see what the next year will bring.





2 Replies to “One Pissed off Turtle- Timeshare Anniversary 5/5/2018”

  1. HAHA! Awesome BB Brother!! Your passion and leadership is always greatly seen and appreciated!! Keeping #Timeshare rolling; Team Dads; AR’s; and a slew of other things is amazing!! #HIM like you help keep me sane!!! Thanks for all you do Brother!

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