1st Annual “Big Toe” Beatdown

1st Annual “Big Toe” Beatdown

Workout Date:





Sade’, Boxcar, 1st Base, Pikachu, Lombardi, Streaker, Castaway (AOQ), Tiny Dancer, Axlerod/Perry Mason, Burgundy, Cyclone, Crabs, Jedah, Hedgehog, Whiz (FNG), Quaker (QIC); Brown Bag (Nant’an)

The Thang:

AO: The Plank

Conditions: 75 degrees, somewhat humid, dry


A Message from Brown Bag: June 29th 2018 will always be a memorable day because it started my F3 journey. YHC (Brown Bag) was pumped for a great anniversary Q. Playlist made, weinke in the head and then . . .

The family decided to head down to the pool last night to relax before dinner. It was warm and it was windy. YHC took the towels out of the towel bag and had a great idea to lift up the leg of the chaise lounge to slip one bag handle under it to keep the bag from blowing away.

Shortly thereafter, YHC forgot about the aforementioned ‘great idea’ & decided to get up. As YHC got up, my right big toe got caught on the other loose bag handle! My body weight went in one direction & my big toe went in the other direction . . .  instant pain!!

YHC (Brown Bag) thought, “Okay”, the show must go on. I went home and iced it and then caked it with Biofreeze and went to bed.

This morning as I got up, the big toe continued hurting but still I thought I could go all David Goggins and pull this Q off.  I caked it with Biofreeze once more & downed a couple of Motrin. I tried to stabilize it by using 2 socks & my tennis shoes instead of my running shoes; but the pain was still intense. I then tried one sock and the running shoes but that did little to ease the pain. “Nope it was a No Go!”

My next thought . . . we could do 100% of the beatdown on our six (Who doesn’t love 45 minutes of abs??”) “Nah, that won’t fly”, there’s more to a beatdown then just abs!!

So, I begrudgingly put on my flip-flops (no socks – I’m getting old, but not that old, Ha, Ha) and headed to The Plank hoping the HIM that first introduced me to F3 would be there so that I could ask him to take the Q. Sure enough, I pulled in right behind him. I explained my dilemma and he jumped right in for me.

Before I left, however, I did get to circle up the men to say good morning, tell my story, tell a corny Dad joke about flip-flops and hand my Q off to Quaker.

A Message from Quaker: As our beloved Nant’an left the circle, YHC #2 (Quaker) entered the circle as Darth Vader’s theme song undoubtedly raced through most Pax minds (“Dun, Dun, Da-Dah, Dun,Da-Dah, Dun, Da-Dah”).

The ‘Ole Bait & Switch’; ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’; or if you’re a fan of Happy Days . . . “The Hoboken Hussle” just happened to these 15 unsuspecting Pax . . . read on to experience what we all had to endure this morning because of Brown Bag’s Big Toe.

Note: Our Nant’an is our proverbial ‘Big Toe’ of the Region much like Sergeant Hulka is in Stripes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhanPGlfs5w

5:14 – One Minute Warning

5:15 – Proper Disclaimer . . . You can’t sue YHC, You can’t sue F3, You can’t sue the Artificial Turf (Pax inquire, “Can we sue Brown Bag’s Big Toe?” . . . Possibly but you won’t get much out of it)

COP: 15 Hairy Rockets IC (gotta keep Pikachu happy); 15 Imperial Walkers IC; 15 Tempo Squats IC; 25 Merkins (“When I say down”, you say a number . . . “Royce do not say 500!!”); 15 Hillbillies IC; 15 LBAC IC; 15 LBAC in Reverse IC; 15 Overhead Claps IC

Mosey across the track, out the gate, and into the parking lot (Note: this lot is better lit than TheVillage ever was!)


Taking the Lunge (a little play on words from The Plank theme)

Pax were instructed to line up shoulder to shoulder across the parking lot facing the softball field.

Quaker: “Are there any new guys here today?”

FNG: “Yes, right here!”

Quaker: “Great!! Do what everyone else is doing”

Exercise #1 – Lunge walk 1/3 of the parking lot.

Exercise #2 – The Costanza (Double Lunge Pump with a Pause at the top) 1/3 of the parking lot

Exercise #3 – The Kramer (Quadruple Lunge Pump with a Double Pause at the top) 1/3 of the parking lot (Note: this exercise is the crazy neighbor of the Costanza)

Mosey around the perimeter of the parking lot, then back in through the gate and circle up on the 50 yd line MB Medallion.

Choppy Feet/Hit It!!

Every Pax was instructed to do Choppy Feet (high knees) until YHC yells, “Hit it!” . . . then we all drop to the turf and bounce right up for more Choppy Feet

This was done until our Choppy Feet became visibly less choppy – maybe 5 minutes, maybe a little more

Mosey to the sidelines for a well deserved 10 Count

Dora 1-2-3 (4??)

Pax paired up with the man next to him. Pax #1 did exercise while Pax #2 did 50% Throttle across the football field to the other sideline and back. . . then flip-flop until exercise rep totals were reached.

Exercise #1 – 100 Merkins

Exercise #2 – 150 Squats

Exercise #3 – 200 Imperial Wakers

Exercise #4 – 250 LBCs

Mosey off the field and through the gate near the restrooms. (Note: FNG was behind the building at this point . . . was it Merot or Mother Nature Calling?? Either way he rejoined the group for the next routine)

Hot for Bleachers (Think Van Halen)

Pax followed the leader as we ran up and down the bleachers as the humidity kicked in!  We ascended the bleaches then descended the bleachers, then ascended the bleachers, then descended the bleachers as were ran from right to left. (Note: these bleachers have a LOT of steps!!)

Mosey to goal line and line up for next routine. By this time everyone’s legs were smoked and most Pax were angry with YHC taking the Q, however, there is only one way to get better and that is to do things that you don’t want to do!!

The Fast & the Furious: (if you’re mad leave it on the field)

FNG was instructed to come out in front (about 5 yds) of the Pax who were all lined up facing the scoreboard. FNGs job was to be the Starter (Ready, set, go!!) like in Rebel without a Cause (hands held out to the side . . .when his hands drop, all Pax sprint to the designated yd marker). Once the sprinting Pax passed the FNG he was instructed to mosey to the yd marker and again assume his position as the Starter. (This gave the FNG a taste of leading & more importantly a well-deserved break from the beatdown)(The rest of us were not so lucky)

Sprint #1 – 20 yds

Sprint #2 – 30 yds

Sprint # 3 – 50 yds

Sprint #4 – 50 yrds

Sprint #5 – 30 yrds

Sprint #6 – 20 yds

Mosey to the 30 yd line and circle up on the City of Myrtle Beach Medallion (Pax thought it was time for some stretching)

Mary for One

25 Flutter Kicks IC

4 Minutes of Stretching.

Question for the Q: “Why are we stretching our arms, when all we did was legs today??”

6:00 – Time Called

Count-o-Rama – 16 . . . (17 if we include our Anniversary Pax, Brown Bag)


Naming of the FNG: Streaker brought him out today. He is from Philadelphia, has 2 children & and a fiancé, is not a sports fan, likes to skateboard, & told us a funny/embarrassing story about giving his then girlfriend a ride on his dirtbike, but falling so often that he had to let his friend finish & I quote, “riding her”. Multiple Philly references were thrown out such as ‘Cheeze Steak, ½ Pipe, Without Whiz’, but in the end after a straw poll from the Pax we agreed on “Whiz” (as in the Frankenfood, manufactured, processed, delicious cheese like substance used on Philly Cheese Steaks)

Announcements: July 16 – Freed to Bleed; July 31 – The Sasquatch; Dragonboat 2022 – need at least 10 Pax to sign up, right now! ($10 per HC will provide us with the necessary $100 Entry Fee)(Jedah is Qing it)

Prayer/Praise Report: YHC prayed us out: Prayers on spoken, prayers for Pikachu’s mother, prayers for Whiz and his ongoing recovery.









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