Now I Am The Voice

Now I Am The Voice

Workout Date:



Spinal Tap


Papa Smurf, Bob the Builder, Progresso, Flossy, Cheesy Biscuit, Spinal Tap, Red Barron and Kegle (guest PAX)

The Thang:

At Blackbeard’s Revenge the weather was less oppressive than the drenching humidity of the past 3 weeks. The beat-down began at 5:30 sharp, but Cheesy Biscuit snuck in just after kick off bringing the headcount to 8 PAX. Never fear, we gave Cheesy a free pass because since he usually snags 3 hours of sleep after his night shift at the Lobster of Redness.

Spinal Tap gave an unusual disclaimer which this time revealed the plan to use music, and a preemptive apology for any commercials that might be heard from his You Tube playlist. Today the conditioning is going to target both our body and also our mind. An invitation was given to identify a negative aspect of life such as an addiction or unforgiveness or failure. Each station throughout the morning will have opportunities to pound the begeevees out of it, so don’t hold back.

THE THANG began with Toby Mac “This Is Not A Test” which accompanied 25 side straddle hops in cadence, 30 Imperial Walkers OYO, 20 Windmills OYO and finally Little Baby Arm Circles. Rather than counting in cadence, we changed it up by quoting a declaration. Spinal Tap called out and the PAX echoed each phrase. Instructed to match the vocal intensity of the Q, it grew into a shout “NOW I AM THE VOICE. I WILL LEAD AND NOT FOLLOW. I WILL BELIEVE AND NOT DOUBT. I WILL CREATE AND NOT DESTROY. I AM A FORCE FOR GOOD. I AM A FORCE FOR GOD. DEFY THE ODDS! SET A NEW STANDARD! STEP UP! STEP UP! STEEEEP UUUUUP!!!!!!!

Following the brain shock of yelling at 5:30 am, each PAX moseyed to the south field where the sound  track changed over to Disciple “Attack.” This ROCKED us hard while we did 30 Dipsticks (right side, left side OYO), 30 Ray Charles OYO, 15 Big Boy Sit Ups and finally Roselitas without a count. Our legs kept moving until we finished “Now I Am The Voice” once again.

The next mosey brought us back across and up to the north field for ChumbaBurpees to the song Tubthumper. “I Get Knocked Down” required the obvious movement followed by SSH non-stop for every verse of the song. PAX were breathing heavy so I asked for a 10 count and then began Low Slow Squats for a new chant “Scroll #9” by Og Mandino. Spinal Tap called out “I WILL” and the men echoed “ACT NOW”  I will act now!! I will act now!!! Squats were non-stop until the last phrase “Let me act now even though my actions may not bring happiness or success for it is better to act and fail than not to act and flounder. I WILL ACT NOW.”

Mosey down the tree line, across the parking lot and back again to the classical music station. An intense  Vivaldi orchestra was specifically selected because of Say What’s suggestion, but he unfortunately was up 1/2 the night with his kido throwing up. Moleskin: BUT YOU DON’T SEE SLEEP DEPRIVATION STOPPIN’ CHEESY BISCUIT NOW DO YA, SAY WHAAAAAAH?! lol …  I digress, but we enjoyed “Accelerating Through The Tunnel.” 10 count regular pace, 10 count faster pace, 10 count rapid pace with instructions to raise the chest all the way up for the clap. This was followed by Indian Lunges down the length of the parking lot while Spinal Tap presented Round #2 of Scroll #9 which featured a grand ending:  “This is the time! This is the place! I AM THE MAN! I WILL ACT NOW!!!!!”

Next onward to the concrete picnic benches. Andy Mineo rapped an EPIC track of “You Can’t Stop Me” while PAX progressively did 15, 10, 5 & 1 decline pushups and dips. Spinal Tap then wrapped it up with incline planks. A 10 count rest transitioned us into Step Ups on the peculiar high of the bench seats. This tied in nicely during “I Am The Voice” when each PAX yells “Step up! STEP UP! STEEEEP UUUUUP!!”

The baseball field was our next stop on the mosey train where we enjoyed a 4 minute rendition of Moby’s “Bring Sally Up, Bring Sally Down.” This requires alternating up and down planks which don’t stop until the song is complete.

I explained that we have one more exercise and I appeared to offer a choice if they want to bear crawl across the field, or just do the exercise right here. Everyone voted to stay, so of course I had to shout “TOO BAD. Everyone bear crawl to the middle of the field.” I must admit that kind of power is addicting. LOL. Once all the baby bears were in the field, we worked on Crunchy Frogs while shouting “I AM THE VOICE. I will believe and not doubt. Defy the odds!!”

Defiance was tempting by now because everyone was exhausted, but when I gave the instruction to jail break back to the shovel flag, I was encouraged by the excellent effort of each PAX. Now there was just enough time for the last sound track of the morning, appropriately named “Take Me Home” by Marc Broussard. This epic tune carried us through Superman-Banana, Side Lunges and Mountain Climbers.

Spinal Tap then brought the BOM from Hebrews 12:4-12. This reminded the PAX that just like today’s  beatdown, “no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but in the end it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who are transformed by it.” At the beginning of the morning, we were asked to think about a negative aspect of your life, but through conditioning and even through God’s discipline, those negatives are transformed!!! So, strengthen your feeble arms AND MINDS men and make a level path for our feet. Walk in the direct favor and love of our God this weekend!

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